


Live On

by MrLucyLu



Category: Naruto
Genre: Character Death, Love Confessions, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-29
Updated: 2014-06-29
Packaged: 2018-02-05 06:39:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1808968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrLucyLu/pseuds/MrLucyLu





	Live On

_It is funny how life works,_ a twenty-one year old Lee thought as he looked at his friend laying on the soft pasture.

The raven sat on a swing hanging on the only oak tree in a desolate meadow of his favorite park.

Sunsets and sunrises looked the most beautiful from this practically treeless and grassy mead. You could sit on either direction of the swing and experience the amazing phenomena most people took for granted.

Lee pushed his feet against the soil, letting the small momentum take its effect of pushing him back and forth as thoughts swirled around his head.

Today marked the ninth year of the first time he met Gaara, the first time he had fought, or actually let Gaara use him as a punching bag to take out his frustrations. He didn't know what led him to such a thing. He was a pretty good fighter then as he was now, but there had been something in the red head's eyes that rendered him immobile, so he just let the abuses hit. It hadn't been the smartest choice but it brought him the friendship of a lifetime.

Now here both sat in the placid meadow watching as colors splashed across the sky, the sun setting in the horizon. Lee flashed a smile towards the beauty as he felt the warmth seep through him like waves flowing flawlessly through water. Gaara just laid down with his hands behind his back and his eyes closed, relishing in the stillness and silence of his surroundings.

"Hey, Gaara?"

The aforementioned didn't respond but a slight shift of his arms indicated that he was listening.

"What do you think of life?"

There was a pregnant pause before the red head answered. "It's tedious and exhausting, but…livable."

Lee smiled, not one of his usual cornucopia type of smiles but a small one, one that barely grazed his feature, yet it was still there in its most genuine form.

Gaara did not feel the need to respond any further as to what brought on the inquiry. It was normal in times like this for Lee to ask any sort of question that required no more than a five worded answer and left it like that, letting the tranquility overtake the ambience once again.

"You could make life exciting Gaara. The only times you come out of your hiding place are when Naruto or I drag you out," Lee grinned thinking of all the times Naruto had coerced him into sneaking in on the red head only to tie him up and take him out to a club or some other sociable place.

"Hn."

"You should tell him."

Gaara's eyes opened and regarded Lee with annoyance evident on his face. "Stop being cryptic. Tell who what?"

Lee stopped his swinging and turned his head to look at his friend, the most serious expression on his features.

"Tell Naruto that you like him."

The raven chuckled at the scowl forming on Gaara's visage.

"You know?"

"It is hard to tell, Gaara, but yes I know," he laughed turning his sight back to the view before him.

"How?" By now Gaara sat cross-legged, his eyes remaining glued on the brunet.

A sad smile the red head failed to noticed crossed Lee's face, but he answered truthfully. "Your eyes change. They become warmer, softer and…you smile more. I'm not as dense as you or most people believe, Gaara. I notice things. I just decide to keep them quiet. It is not my place to voice out things people are deliberately hiding from others. If they want to tell, then they will when the time is appropriate. If not, well, they have the right to keep them hidden."

He could feel Gaara's glare bearing holes through his torso, but he turned his eyes away with a curt nod.

"Why?" The question was asked so quietly Lee almost missed it.

"Why what?"

"Why do I like him?"

Lee stood from the swing and sat next to Gaara as he contemplated his answer.

"I do not know my friend. You should ask yourself that when you see him. You should ask yourself what the reason for your first encounter was. What does he say to make you feel the way you do. What did he do that first made you realize you felt something other than friendship for him."

"Did you ask yourself these questions when you chased after that bubblegum ditz?"

"Hey! She is pretty smart. She just becomes that way every time Sasuke is around, and yes I did and I still do ask myself those questions today."

"You still like her? Even after what she put you through?" Gaara's voice chilled at the prospect of that answer. Because of her, he experienced for the first time the feeling of agony as he watched for the one and only time the tears flowing from the ebony eyes of one of the strongest men he knew.

He had never felt the need to kill someone as much as he had then.

Lee smiled sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Actually, I've liked someone else for quite some time now."

Gaara's fists tightened, his shoulders tensed.

"Who?" He demanded, annoyed at the fact that he did not know something that could potentially threatened the friendship he had formed with the man beside him.

An embarrassed smirk formed on Lee's lips. "Aww come on, Gaara. Do not sound so mad about not knowing. Besides you didn't tell me about your crush."

"You know," the red head asserted.

"But still, the words did not come from the horse's mouth. Besides, I know for a fact that the person does not feel the same way for me and probably never will."

"Horses don't talk. Now. Tell. Me." It was not a request but a command, a vicious one at that. Gaara would not let anything get in the way of them.

Lee laughed heartedly as he up and jumped from his sitting position. "Of course they don't, my friend. It's just a figure of speech. Now, don't worry about it and come on. We better go before the guys eat all the food. It is our last meal together before you guys go overseas for the summer"

"Lee." Gaara was making no moves to stand up.

The raven rolled his eyes, a rare habit he only used around the socially inept man as he forced him up, dodging a punch to his stomach.

He continued laughing loudly at the glare as he pulled the red head by the hand.

As Gaara walked behind Lee, He couldn't help but feel a nagging suspicion that Lee did not just randomly have this conversation with him like usual. There was something Lee was hiding from him, but for the moment he would let him keep it to himself. He would demand answers later on.

* * *

_Stupid, fucking altruistic asshole, lying bastard!_ These thoughts rambled on full speed like a chant.

During the last three months of vacation, Gaara flew to Europe for a summer internship he, Neji, Shikamaru and Sasuke landed at one of the most prestigious Uchiha corporations.

Lee had stayed behind, as well as Naruto working his summer job back at home. For three months they kept in touch via email, for Lee's telephone bills would have risen considerably if he spoke to each and everyone of them individually despite the taciturn nature of the four of them.

For three fucking months he did not get to see them and now here he was standing in a damn cemetery watching one of them be buried six feet under.

He hated him at the moment. He wished he would revive so he could kill him with his own hands again and maybe assuage some of the pain he felt.

The weather could not have been more perfect even if he asked. Clouds loomed above the heads of the mourners, fat drops of frigid water hit with resounding thumps against every open umbrella.

Even as the priest said his last holy farewell, Gaara couldn't stop the vulgar chanting in his head.

Every single person the deceased had ever made conversation with and even those whom he hadn't, stood silently in the depressing weather.

Silent tears rolled down cheeks. Those without umbrellas were less conspicuous for the rain mixed and washed away the salty tears.

Gaara stood at the foot of the casket, his hands in his pockets, the letter he received a week ago laid crumbled in his palm.

_My dear and most precious friend: Gaara,_

_I could not find it in me to send you this by email. It is way too impersonal, so I decided a handwritten letter would be best suited for this._

_How can I begin. My hand trembles even as I write this and I must tell you this is the best handwriting I can muster at the moment. My last attempts consisted of very illegible scrabbles._

_Well as always, I hope your endeavors are going smoothly and I hope you are of good health. I am not doing so well on my part and by the time you read this I will probably be in a new place, like the places we talked about before. Remember our discussions about heaven? Well, I hope I've done well in this lifetime to head there after this. I know what you are probably thinking right now._ _**'What kind of sick joke are you playing?'** _ _Well, knowing you in a much more colorful language. It is not easy to say this, which I guess is the reason I never told anyone._

_Gaara, about a week before our last visit to the meadow, I had a small accident. Luckily there had been a very kind soul nearby who did not look away and called the hospital. God, my writing has become worse, huh? Well, I found out I was in an advance stage of a tumor in my brain, which was what caused my collapse in the middle of the street, the accident as I mentioned before. It is to a point where I have a set time to live. Three months, or was three months since now they have flown by. That is as much time as they gave me to live to my fullest. Gaara I was so scared, terrified that I refused to believe it and I actually had a tantrum! Can you believe it? A twenty-one year old man screaming at a doctor's face!_

_But now, it is hard, but I have come to terms with it. These last few months I have done everything I could possibly think of what I have been wanting to do in my life, as I explained to you of my adventures by email. I had never felt so alive before, but now I feel the effects of my sickness. I've been stuck in the hospital for about two weeks now and to tell you the truth, everyday I feel worse than the last. I have seen myself in a mirror and it is like my whole life's achievement of working out to stay fit and healthy have been for nothing. It is funny how I fought to combat everything that could be prevented, but yet, my body fought against me without me knowing. I have not told Naruto or the others, but like you, I have sent them a letter also._

_Gaara, remember what we talked about that day about you telling Naruto how you felt? I believe you should do it before it is too late. Life is too short, my friend. I have come to realize that. Live it to the fullest. Do what you want to do so you will not regret it later on in life. Take advantage of the opportunities you have and do stuff on a whim every now and then. Smile more. You have such a beautiful smile you are depriving the world from seeing, but most of all Love._

_I know it is something that is very hard for you to do, but it is such a wonderful emotion, this thing called love. It makes you stronger and it gives you something to live for. It hurts, trust me. I know. But life is not worth anything without it. You know how I am, an optimistic fool as you like to call me, but life is something beautiful, a gift that should not be wasted. I hope you can learn to see that and enjoy your youth! Please do this for me. It is the only thing I ask._

_Gaara, you know about Naruto's heart condition, right? Well, I talked to a doctor here and I found out that my heart is working perfectly fine. It has the strength of your mustang. Well I have decided to not wait , and end my days earlier than expected and donate my heart to Naruto. I want you to know the tumor is operable, but there is less than ten percent of me making it. The chance is too small, my friend. I would rather help those who have a better chance of living. Even if I did make it there is a seventy-five percent chance that the tumor will grow back I cannot live with having operation after operation if the results will never change in the end._

_Now Naruto, he has a chance. He has been on that damn waiting list ever since I can remember and I cannot waste something that is perfectly functional. I hope you, Naruto and the others can understand this._

_Tomorrow which will be august 27th_ _will be my last day. I am told Naruto is already in his room being explained of the process. The doctors are going to keep my involvement in this a secret until they give him the letter when he recovers. I hope everything goes well and he accepts my heart without a problem. He out of all people deserves the right to live happy and carefree. Make sure you are the one who contributes the most to his joyous life. I know for a fact that he bats for both teams, but don't tell the others. It was a secret between him and me._

_Oh yes, I have one more thing to tell you. This is probably a bad time to be pouring my feelings out but I must say it before I go. Gaara, I Love You. For the past three years of my life I have loved you more than I have ever loved anyone. YOU were the person whom you were so afraid would break our friendship. I know I am being a complete hypocrite here for telling you to confess your feelings for Naruto when I could not even tell you of mine, but I have my reasons. I could never make you smile like you do when you're around Naruto. That rare twinkle in your eyes shone brighter than how you would let it glow. You always let your guard down around him and around me you felt comfortable enough but there was always a small shield in the way. It hurts a little, especially now, but your happiness is what matters the most to me. I know this may be selfish of me, but by loving him will make me believe you are loving me too, even for just an instant, for a part of me will live on with Naruto. Please don't let this opportunity slip from your fingers. Tell Naruto how you feel about him._

_Please take care and do not feel sad about my abrupt leaving. I have done everything I wanted to do and I regret nothing, nothing at all. Just remember me by all the good times we had under that oak tree, the times we have shared with our friends and keep those memories alive for me. Make more so you can tell me all about them once we meet again in our next life._

_I love you will all my heart, Lee._

Gaara had never once cried as much as he had that day he read the letter. He hated Lee. He hated Lee for deceiving him. He hated Lee for loving him. But most of all, he hated Lee for leaving him.

He would have never thought the next time he would be seeing his closest friend would be at his funeral. He still expected Lee to be there, in his green workout suit smiling that blinding smile of his.

All the tears he had in him had been shed. There was nothing left in him even if he forced them out.

Little by little, the crowd became smaller and smaller. After three hours, all who were left were the ones who had known Lee the longest; Naruto was one of them.

The blond stood next to Gaara, their shoulders touching, his eyes glued to the last picture they had taken of the raven head the very last day they were on campus. His smile dazzled, outshining even that of Naruto's or Kiba's. There was none of the fear in those eyes they all knew had consumed Lee in those lonely last three months, none of the fear even though they all knew of the battle Lee had found out he was fighting.

He felt a shudder run through Naruto before his shoulder began to tremble violently. Gaara looked around and found that most of his friends were no better off except for Neji, Shika and Sasuke who looked as passive as him, though he could see the tense muscles as they tightened their fists.

He saw Sakura among them, Sasuke's arm wrapped around her slim shoulders as she sobbed silently, but genuinely. She and Lee had become extremely close after their differences had been spewed for the public to hear.

Neji hugged Tenten who had been like a sister Lee had never had and Shika held Temari's hand, their knuckles turning white from the force of the comforting contact.

Kiba for the first time stood with his mutt shut, his arms around Hinata, rubbing soothing circles on her back and Shino stood next to Chouji and Kankuro, a shovel in each of their grasp, while Ino placed the last of the lotus flowers beside the headstone.

One by one, couple by couple, the group departed until only Naruto and Gaara were left.

They stood there, in silence. The presence of the other helping to ease a small portion of the pain.

"He didn't deserve this. Not him," Naruto sobbed quietly, clutching his bandaged chest where his heart lay. His heart. Lee's heart.

"Why didn't he tell us, the bastard! Did he think it would hurt us less? Did he think I would want him to give up for me? Why bastard! Why did you do it! You could have lived! We could have helped you through it! Why asshole! Why! Why! WHY!" His volume increased with every word he spouted.

"Naruto." Gaara hoarsely said. He wanted to scream at Lee too. He wanted to yell, kick and punch the green clad male until he received answers to his unasked questions from that day in the meadow, but it would all be futile and he knew it.

"Let's go."

Naruto resisted, remaining exactly where he stood even as hands coaxed him into moving.

"Wait. Lee wrote me something and I want you to read it." He dug into his pocket and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper that felt more like toilet tissue than actual paper. He shoved it into Gaara's chest until he felt the red head's fingertips retrieve the paper.

As Gaara opened it, he saw that it was only half of the sheet, only the bottom part of a lengthy letter. He scanned the contents, his eyes growing visibly wide as he took in every word.

He reread the same thing about five times before he felt a kick to his shin.

"So what is this that you have to tell me. As you can see, Lee wanted you to say it here and now and we're not leaving until you do."

Gaara lifted his eyes, emerald green locking in with sapphire.

"That sneaky bastard," he uttered inaudibly.

Despite the solemn air, Naruto chuckled softly, apparently having read the red head's lips. "Yes, we have all established that he surprisingly turned out to be the best. So what is it?"

"I-" Gaara could not articulate his words, he had never told anyone that he like them and now here he was, being forced by Lee, even without his physical presence.

Gaara looked away, a small tinge of pink adorning his cheeks. He couldn't do it. He would never be able to admit it. He had never shown any other emotion other than hate and indifference. Love was something he wasn't programmed to do.

Suddenly, he felt two hands grab him by the shoulders until he was once again facing the blond.

"You're not going to tell me are you?" He asked, an eyebrow raising inquisitively. He mumbled something Gaara did not catch, but he believed to have been  _'making me do all the work.'_

Before he could blink, his lips were captured, softly but with an intensive force that he stumbled backwards. He stood still for a moment, dumbfounded before he began to reciprocate the kiss.

Soft lips pressed against his own as the action began to intensify, becoming much more intimate. Finally, air became a necessary nuisance and they separated slowly, their foreheads touching.

Gathering his air, Naruto nudged Gaara's nose. "Was this what you wanted to say in words?"

Gaara opened his eyes and met with lachrymose blue. He nodded his head slowly, his own tears threatening to fall for the first time that day.

"He said he loved me l-like I do y-you."

"I know…he told me," he wrapped his arms around the red head, careful of his chest. Gaara wrapped his own arms around the small waist and cradled his head against the junction of the blonde's neck and shoulder.

"But you know what? Now you can have us both."

Gaara's tears finally spilled, drenching the black suit from the man he had held hidden feeling for.

"Come on, Gaara. Tsunade is going to kill me if I'm late."

The red head lifted his head and regarded the man in front of him with the coldest eyes Naruto had ever seen.

"Don't talk about your murder in a cemetery, asshole. You're life is just beginning."

For the first time that evening, Naruto smiled brightly.

"Yeah. You're right. Let's go."

As they walked away Naruto turned one last time to the smiling man in the frame.

' _Thank you Fuzzy Brows. I promise you, I will live for the both of us.'_


End file.
